Another three years gone.

Halfway through 2013, She and I filed for bankruptcy. Lots on my mind, lots on hers. Work stresses us both. Distance slowly grows between us, I make some new friends to fill the void.

March of this year, I'm moved out of my work comfort zone to another store to fill a need. April I'm promoted and my hard work finally pays off. The anxiety of waiting for that news was crazy. The relief of knowing was incredible. I start to work more, building things up to where they need to be, and the distance grows even more. I work more to fill the void.

New transportation, new friends, networking grows. Things are complicated still. The distance can't really get any farther away, the rope won't give anymore.

She and I have decided that we should separate before our girl's third birthday. It's for the best we say, for our girl anyways. We don't want her to grow up in the homes that we both knew, it was more than either of us could handle. The next few weeks are agonizing. Boundaries that should have been left where they were have long since been broken down, but it is for the better, at least for one of us.

I date a girl. She shares some of the interests that I didn't think people would share. I pour myself into her like I'm good at doing, but there are some gaps. Rockily, we cohabitate. Some weeks are bliss, others are torment. Several times she decides that this go might have been premature. Attitudes change, but maybe they were that way all along? Am I too close to recognize? Who knows, a struggle alone isn't one I have the strength for, so desperately I cling.

The end of the year is approaching so fast. In a month, life will again be in chaos. For the first time in a very long time, I won't share a room with anything, or anyone. I will share a home, but my room will be just that. Even as a child it wasn't something I was ever afforded until I was almost an adult, and even in adulthood, it's something I've only experienced briefly.

Things are so uncertain. People have an effect in my life that is greater than they might know, but it's not something that can be spoken. It isn't time for that. Reading will evoke emotion, familiar and foreign. The oil lamp I carry isn't lighting things as well as it used to, but my eyes are used to that shade anyhow.

And yet there's still so much to be accomplished, attempted. So much that deserves a proper finality to it. Am I ready? Soon, that question won't matter.

Ready or not, here goes what I've got.